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How To Overcome
Being Told No

Have you ever been nervous about asking for something because you assumed the answer would be no?  And did you still ask the question even though you were nervous about it? If you did, that's awesome! If not, that's okay, hun you're not alone.  I've certainly been there but have managed to push through and strengthen that muscle.  So let's look at some things that will help calm your nerves and get you to asking the question.

  1. When you want to ask something but you are feeling nervous, first recognize those feelings and take note of how your overall body feels. Feel your heart beating fast.  Recognize that your hands are sweaty or that you are feeling anxious.  Ask yourself why you are feeling this way and then think of a past experience (s) that might have led you to feel nervous.  Also recognize that that was a past experience and that it does not control your future experiences. Once you recognize those feelings, write them down as well as how to counter them.

  2. To counter them, there are many things you can do. Take 3 deep breaths.  Sit for 1 minute with your eyes closed to ground yourself. Do neck rotations and stretches to loosen up your body.  Write down the question you want to ask and go further by practicing asking the question.  Haha, this may sound crazy but it works.  It helps to get you in this place of being at ease when asking the question.

  3. Say affirmations to yourself to get you more focused and help you to slay like a boss.  When saying affirmations, insert your name in front of  the word "you". Here are some examples. "You are all powerful", "You are fearless", "You can do anything", "You will change a lot of lives by asking this", "You will change your life by asking this". And the list goes on.  Come up with some of your own.  It's actually fun to do.  Get inspired by Bey or Lizzo as well! "...turns out I'm 100% that b*tch" ...Okay! 


Once your nerves are calm and you're in a good space, it's time to ask your question.  You're ready. Go all in! BE THE CONFIDENT PERSON YOU ARE. Ask the question with no expectations. Don't worry about if the answer will be yes or no.  Just ASK. 

Ok, so you've asked.  The response is a resounding YES! Awesome, now just proceed on. But if the answer is NO! 

Let's look at what hearing no could do.  Hearing no could definitely sting.  Am I correct? But you asking in the first place is the bigger bite.  So when you had the courage to ask, you can absolutely handle a little bitty sting.  Okur! Let's look at some things you can say to change your perspective and how you can overcome being told no.

  1. I was told no but I am so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.  The next time I ask something, I'll know what I need to do to help ground myself..
  2. I was told no but let me do some research to figure out how to approach it from another angle.
  3. I was told no but this could open the door of discussions in the future to make things better.
  4. I was told no but things could change and at least I've introduced a different perspective.  
  5. I was told no but this person could have a change of heart. 
  6. I was told no but I feel a breakthrough coming.  
  7. I was told no but this could open up another door for me.

Last thoughts: Don't think about getting told no, reflect on the why and how your question could not only help you but someone else.  Always look at the big picture.  And remember being told no is not a bad thing, it's just the beginning. 

You got this hun! Go ahead, grab fear by the hand and go slay your question like a Boss you are! 

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