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How to Have a Happy Marriage 

It’s hard to believe that my hubby and I have been together for a total of 26 years. Wow, not sure where the time goes. We met in high school and dated early on in the 10th grade and then again in our senior year.  Ok, that’s a long story.  His story is completely different from mine….lol. I actually asked him to the Prom hoping he would say yes and the rest is history. We’ve been married for 16 years. Now we definitely don’t always see eye to eye but the love is always there. Today I’m sharing some tips on how to keep the fires going on the home front. 

1. Laugh together. It’s important to keep it light and have fun together. These are difficult times so it’s important to find ways to laugh together to keep the fun in the relationship. We love watching shows together, reminiscing about fun moments or sharing inside jokes that no-one else would know.  It’s great fun! 

2. Date nights or date days. Make a point to have a date night once a month or even a date during the day. If you have little ones, find a reliable, trustworthy babysitter. Do your research. Ask for references. Be comfortable who you are choosing.  Once that’s done, set the date.  It’s important to set aside time just for you and your spouse. If your kids are older and more self sufficient, you can definitely take advantage and go out. You can do earlier times too so that you’re not out too late.  Besides dinner dates, we also love to go on our coffee/tea dates.  They are nice because we are able to chat, people watch and simply spend time together.  

3. Let each other be.  I think relationships are all about finding balance and once thing that brings balance is to allow each other to do the things he/she wants to do and be what he/she wants to be.  Of course this is in reason right.  If it’s something that’s not positive and will eventually cause great stress on the relationship or family, then it’s something that probably should not be pursued but if it’s something that is positive and going to help the individual in some type of way or the family unit, then it probably should be pursued and encouraged.  It’s truly allowing each other to be his/her own individual, then coming together to create a wonderful dynamic.  

4. Go on walks.  Take a stroll in your neighborhood or find a nice place to hike.  It’s another time where bonding can truly take place.  Hold hands while you’re at it.  Truth to be told my hubby didn’t care for holding hands when we first started dating.  I felt some type away about it..haha and then eventually let it go but he eventually came around. And it’s something that we do quite often.  

5. Dream together.  Talk about your wildest dreams and be supportive of one another.  Be happy and excited for each other.  It happens often when some people grow up, they stop dreaming.  When we were kids, we all use to dream but somehow we become adults and all of that stops.  It’s fun to dream with your special someone because it just keeps the excitement going.  Dream about your next trip and other places you would like to visit.  Take it to the next level and do a vision board.  Woohoo!

6. Make a list.  Sit down, set a timer for 10 minutes or so and each person creates a list of things that you would like to do together.   Once the timer runs out, compare to see which things are common.  The things that are in common, awesome!  Make a plan to do those things.  The things that are not common, even better! Talk about them and decide on things that can be a compromise.  It’s about trying new things too with another.  Think outside of the box and try to break out of your comfort zone.  Exploring new things are fun! We’ve done this and really showed us certain things we could do differently for one another too.  

7. Say it.  Tell your spouse that you love him/her and how much you appreciate them.  It’s important to hear these words.  And yes both men and women need to hear them.  My hubby is soo good with this and I appreciate him so much for it.  

8. It’s a team effort.  Whether you’re a couple or if you have kids, it should always  be a team effort.  It should always be about helping each other and pitching in to do what needs to be done.  Now, I must say that it’s not always going to be 50/50 and that’s okay.  That’s reality.  My hubby does most of certain things that I don’t and vice versa and that works for us.  But it should be an environment where you feel appreciated and that efforts are being made to assist the family unit.

10. Get intimate.  Well I said it.  This is not the most important but it is important.  There’s many things that fall under this as well but the point is it’s important to have a physical relationship.  Think about when you first started dating and how excited and in tune to each other you were.  Come up with ways to get back to that and how to start you may ask, by doing all of the things that I previously mentioned.  

11.  Plan a getaway together.  It could be somewhere local for the weekend or somewhere fun or exotic for extended vacay.  It'll be a great time to re-connect and spend quality time together.  If you can't find anyone to watch the kids, set up a plan to have the kids in bed at a certain time and then plan a picnic on the living room floor or a movie night in your most coziest place in your home.  Have fun with it.  Think of ideas that you can do in the comforts of your home until you can get family to watch the kids or find babysitter.  Be creative and have fun with it.  Enjoy! 

Now, these are just some things. Do you have anything to add?  If so, please do share, I would love to hear.  If any of this has resonated with you, please let me too.  

Take care. xo V

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